so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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