going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
