Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
