I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
