Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
