I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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