Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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