She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
