when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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