real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
