yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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