He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
