Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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