Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
