are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
only if we run a train.
done.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
