your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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