I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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