We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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