Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
