I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize