Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
