He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
