apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
