i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
