She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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