Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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