How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
