when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
