Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
