maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
