you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
