Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
how does that bad decision feel?
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