Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
