Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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