You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
