Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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