The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
