Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
