It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
