You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
