its not stalking. its research.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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