I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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