Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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