Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you didnt know i had herpes?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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