We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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