Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
