They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
