i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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