if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
