I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
