i just had sex bonerless
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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