flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
