He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Semen is not good for contacts.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
