3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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