if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
