Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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