For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
