We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
