You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
