I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
