just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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