She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The uberlube is also flammable
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
