i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
